Across the Lincoln Highway: Geneva Ale House

For "Chapter Two" of our trip along the Illinois portion of the Lincoln Highway, I'll rewind a bit back to Joliet, where I left off. We had gone into Toy Town and the Chalkboard, because 78% of what you do on a vacation to get away from your children is shop for things you think will make them squeal, and talk to each other about them constantly. And this place has a lot of very unique toys, and was a lot of fun.

This guy, this guy is everywhere along the highway, and the Chalkboard is no exception:

I mean, can we talk about somebody else? (I guess it's his road, after all.)

Chris had printed out lots of helpful guide sheets for every town we were going to be in. Some of them were mysterious leads, containing only a name and an address for an establishment. We just had to check out the "Dragon Light," since we're not just nerds - we're fantasy nerds - and we couldn't imagine what it could be. Something with a costumed dungeon-master greeting us with fliers, and wall sconces in the shape of claw hands holding torches, I was sure. When we arrived, there was a collective, "...Oh."

Chinese restaurant. Hadn't thought of that.

Took this one because it reminded me of Pops, of course.

We drove on through Plainfield, where there were man-made heron nests on the Lake Renwick forest preserve, and signs advertising some service called "slabjacking." (Not sure what that is, or when I might require it, but it doesn't sound minor). We drove through Aurora, which we were well familiar with, so had decided to spend some time elsewhere. Noteworthy establishments, however, included a Tastee-Freez (original 1967 signage intact), and a Doggie Diner that I'd love to check out another time. A time when I don't care what encased meats I put into my body. "Hey-ohhhh!"

We cruised (that's what you do on the LH) into Batavia and St. Charles, where we had reservations to spend the night at a deep discount (thank you, Nicole, for telling me to get on that Priceline train). There was hey! Another Tastee-Freez! And also, a namesake for me:

We didn't go into Gina's, but headed out to the Geneva Ale House that night. On walking in, I didn't think too much of the atmosphere: the place was mostly small tables, and had a lunch-place kind of a feel. But when we sat down, we were greeted with quite a warm and friendly selection of beers.

Chris had the Tripel Karmelict, which we both thought was delicious. Hey baby! Cheers!

(He was happy not to be driving). I ordered the Flying Dog In-Heat Wheat, which I liked, but not so well as Chris' beer. Good thing we swap spit.

One final disappointment was with the onion straws, which weren't cooked in hot enough oil, and were on the limp and greasy side.

But the burgers? Oh my. The burgers. Served on my beloved Labriola pretzel buns (which I can find at local grocery stores here, halle-loo!), I really could not have added anything to, or taken anything away from them.

And as I always say, if you weren't the biggest fan of your beer, try, try again! (And if you liked it, you should order another one of the same. Either way, you pretty much end up with another beer). This time I tried what I believe was a beer from BridgePort brewery in Portland, Oregon. But you know, after the first drink, my documentation falls off a bit. Anyway, I liked it (another benefit to being the second beer. It always tastes better than the first did).

One more funny note about the Geneva Ale House is that they have the nerve to give a famous figure, other than Lincoln, a bit of time. Here is the "Most Interesting Man in the World" in a place of honor: on the wall opposite the toilet in the ladies' room.

Our next culinary adventure takes place in Dixon, Illinois! Stay tuned for the nervous breakdown I had in getting there.

On Your Way... To the Lincoln Highway. With Nerds.

Time to take you along the culinary portion of the journey we took last October. We wanted to drive the entire Illinois portion of the Lincoln Highway, stopping wherever we may. We did this for two reasons: one, because we're cheap and wanted to save our big bucks for a trip to Napa in the spring, and two, because we're nerds. It was actually wonderful. I learned so much about my state, and the history of this amazing historical road that stretched (and still does) from coast to coast. When you come off the deadly monotony of the highway travel, with the unchanging scenery that we've become used to, it provided endless sources of fun and (yeah, I'll say it) LEARNING along the way. Don't get me started. Just rent the movie "Cars."

I won't bore you with are pictures from the whole trip. I'll just bore you with the food-related pictures. If you're really interested, come to my house and I'll show you the whole photobook I made, including every marker, mural and gazebo we stopped to photograph.

Oh, well. Just one.

Aw, lookit 'im. He's cute, isn't he, folks? Are you lookiting? LOOKIT.

Anyway, Route 30 starts on the eastern edge of Illinois in Lynwood. I don't know if you've been there, but I wouldn't plan a trip any time soon. It may be the most frightening place I've ever been, well above Humboldt Park, where I used to live and shared a block with more than one corpse that I viewed on the news while I did my morning workout. This was some sub-Detroit, post-apocalyptic shit, folks. Boarded, abandoned buildings everywhere, trash-littered streets, and just a couple poor souls shuffling zombie-like along the streets in bedroom slippers and toting plastic sacks (containing, I assume, human heads for snacking). Even the photo opportunity of a hot-dog painted propane tank couldn't prompt me to get out of the car in Lynwood, so I contented myself with recording "fun-spelled" words on the signs we passed, such as the "Dari Whip Snack Stop" (in Steger, where I really wished they'd gone the distance and eliminated the "h"), and "Unlimited Food's" (owned, I suppose, by the Food). With no transition whatsoever, the war-zone of  Lynwood became the mind-blowing historical mansions of Chicago Heights. They must have some amazing burglar alarms. You know. For the zombies.

We drove through Frankfort, Mokena, New Lenox (which has an Aurelio's AND a Chicago Dough, just like Bradley-Bourbonnais), and onto the glorious Joliet. We stopped into the Rialto Theater, the Chalkboard and Toy Town, and our first Lincoln memorial. We passed by the Big Chill Bar and Grill, Joe's, and the Ace Drive-In, all of whom I'd love to hear about or stop into one day. We did go into Dan's Homemade Candies, which has been open in the same building since 1919. Even before that, the place was another candy shop.

I only wish I had photographed the candy. Honestly, I think I just began wolfing it down all too quickly. What can I say? Absolute perfection. Hand-dipped, handmade candies that will make you ashamed you held Fannie May in such high esteem for so long. (Fanny is good, but it ain't this good). And it was here that I decided I would photograph not only the places we went to on our trip, but the people I spoke to along the way. I didn't get her name, but she told me all about Dan's, and she was the only one who didn't run into the back of the kitchen when I whipped out the camera.

Go to Dan's, fill your nostrils with the scent of (and your belly with the reality of) chocolate, particularly their mouth-watering caramel apples. Next stop: Plainfield, Illinois!

The Best Hot Chocolate

Bring it on, winter part deux! I've got Amazon.com, and nothin' but time...

This hot chocolate (Land O' Lakes brand) was rated by the America's Test Kitchen taste testers as the best, so of course I had to try it. The Supreme is the best!!

Heart-Shaped Stuff, or "Happy Black Monday"

I was gonna call this post, "Hey! Wait! I've Got a New Complaint," but, eh. Maybe I'm dating myself with that. And hey, maybe YOU'RE dating yourself this Valentine's Day! In which case, you probably don't wanna hear any more about it, in which case, I apologize. I'm remembering one particular V-Day in Chicago, when I went to pick up my roommate and friend Katie after work. I stopped at a gas station off Ohio Street, and promptly locked my keys in my car. I soon had the help of two cabbies, one minivan mom, and no less than eight gangbangers trying to help me break into my own car. The cabbie had an illegal jimmy in his trunk, but it didn't work on a car "as old as mine." The gangbangers fished out a coat hanger, but after an hour it was finally me that extended it long enough to unlock the door on the side opposite me. All the criminals cheered, and the mom got in her car as quickly as possible. Spending the day that way just made being single that much more special for me.

Well, this Valentine's Day, I will have three dates. I haven't made any dinner plans, and we don't have a babysitter that day, so I may be employing the old standard: a heart-shaped pizza.

This one is from Wayne's in Arlington Heights, but most pizza places do this. A nice option for some of the fellas: pair this with a nice piece of jewelry, and no one will really care that you didn't cook (plus she gets the night off from it). Just a thought.

If you want more of a simple breakfast-in-bed, jump-up, kick-in-the-privates from the adorable children, you can pair a "red scramble" (good diced salami, scrambled with eggs, topped with parmesan) with a heart-shaped artisan roll:

Easy to do - just use an oblong roll with rounded ends, cut in half on the diagonal, and then split. You could use red jam if you wanted to go further with the red thing.

Just for fun, I have some photos of some other heart-shaped things. Since this is a food blog, I'll spare you the picture of the perfect heart my cat left in his litter box, and just show you the heart-shaped potato I found!

Cutting it in half was a bit weird, though. And sometimes I cut into a pepper, and there's another little baby pepper in there. This one had a heart inside, which I found cool, and then upsetting and anatomical.

Well, anyway. Neither here nor there, but what other post was I gonna use those pictures on?

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, or alternatively, just get through it without drunkenly attacking any singing telegrams, tearing the heads off someone else's flowers, or locking your keys in your own car.

Smoky Greens and Beans

"Soul Fazzole" remix! In the past, I've used leftover collard greens to make a soup, naming it this because it's a bit like pasta fagioli, but with collards and smoky meat. This time, I started from the beginning and made one or two additions. It's a great way to get rid of a couple hot dogs, or a little bacon, ham or whatever you got. ***

1 bunch collard greens
1 red onion (regular will do)
2 or 3 turkey hot dogs, small diced, or 4 strips turkey bacon
32 oz. chicken stock
64 oz. water
1/2 pound large rigatoni noodles
1 15 oz. can white beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 cup BBQ sauce
salt and pepper to taste

Add the diced onion to a dutch oven or other pot with a little oil. When softened, add diced meat and brown a minute or two. Add large diced, washed and drained collard greens and a splash of the stock. Cover, let soften and cook down, stirring occasionally. When reduced, add 1 container good stock, and about twice that amount of water. Bring to a boil, add pasta and beans, and cook until al dente. Add BBQ sauce, taste, and season. This dish is good for you, and costs pennies per serving. And even the picky child loved it.

*** I'm not a hot dog advocate in general. Though I'll admit I love the way a good hot dog tastes, this is not a regular menu item around our house (despite the fact that I powered down God knows how many during my pregnancies). However, thanks to Mickey Mouse and his goddamn "hot dog dance," and a certain Mo Willems pigeon, the elder child was asking for hot dogs non-stop (having never had one). Fool that I am, thinking she would actually try one, I stood in our grocery store for 20 minutes reading hot dog labels. Most of them, including the veggie dogs, are filled with horrible things even BEYOND whatever it is they do to the meat (liquid smoke, nitrites, nitrates, phosphates etc.) I finally settled on some turkey dogs that had none of the "ates" in them. Naturally, she wouldn't eat them. Hence, the need to use them somewhere. They actually added a nice smoked flavor to this dish. You could use anything with a smoked flavor that you have lying about, even smoked sliced turkey.

Fiber One Choco-Banana

Seriously, get on board the Fiber One train. These taste great! (And I eat mine with a banana, as in the "serving suggestion.")

The Choo-Choo

We've been trying to find some fun stuff to do around here with two feet of snow on the ground... On Saturday, it occurred to me that we've never been to the "Choo-Choo" diner in Des Plaines. The kid loves trains, and we're hungry! Let's do that! Well, it turned out to be a huge treat, and I think maybe I had more fun than anyone.

The Choo-Choo has been open since 1951 (I recommend the "history" page on their website, which outlines their competition at the time: Ray Kroc's first McDonald's in Des Plaines.) Ray was right - I don't see how he competed with the Choo-Choo, but it was your choice, America. (As a note, I also noticed that the Choo-Choo still sports a vintage Multimixer for their shakes, which I know is how Ray made his first fortune, and I'm guessing he sold it to them. You can see it in one of the pics below.) If you sit at the bar, a train comes out of the kitchen and delivers your food. (If you sit at a booth by the front, you get regular delivery by a waitress, but you still get to watch the train.) House rules: you are not allowed to touch the train! Which I notice the kid in the photo on their website is doing, so that's some BS. (But seriously, don't.)

When we arrived at 11 am, it seemed that lots of other families had our indoor entertainment idea. The place is very small, and it was full. Plus, there was a family ahead of us waiting. Looked like Mama was gonna have to get in there with her elbows... But we actually got a seat after only two or three minutes. A busperson was Johnny-on-the-spot and cleaned the booth up for us pronto. And it was the best seat in the house: a booth at the bar. So we had plenty of room, and still got the train delivery. Ideal, except for the screaming young man behind me. (Actually, his excitement was a little contagious and part of the fun.)

The Choo-Choo has no blinds on the windows, so it was very bright and in direct sun for a couple minutes, until a cloud obliged me for the rest of our meal. Had to wear my fake Ray-Bans. (Side effect: coolness).

So we ordered a chocolate milk for the toddler, which we knew she would love, and a grilled cheese meal which we knew she would not eat (this is our routine). I ordered a plain hamburger, and Chris ordered a cheeseburger with raw onion. I then changed my order to what he was having (I couldn't let him eat raw onion alone). From her carseat on the floor, the baby said she was fine, thanks.

While we waited just a tidge for our food to come out (the Choo-Choo asks that you stay no more than 30 minutes in deference to those waiting, but our kids' attention span expires by then, anyway), several kids had birthdays (real or fake.) They play the birthday song, and the train delivers a cupcake with a train whistle on it. By this time, I was clapping like the last person keeping fairies alive. I believe! I do believe in fairies! Hey, what's that?

Feeling vibration from iron horse approach, Kemosabe?

Wait for it... Wait for it...

 YAY! IT'S OURS!

I expected nothing much from the food... I thought the kitsch factor would bring some laziness as far as the quality was concerned (kids don't care if it's a great burger, I mean, it comes on a TRAIN). But I must say I thought the burgers were fantastic! And the fries were hot and crispy.

I thought we would get a sort of version of a McDonald's burger, as the Choo-Choo is so closely tied to them. It was not at all that sort. The burger was generous and grilled, on a perfectly grilled bun, and the ingredients were all nice and fresh. Here's the kid, refusing to eat anything, as predicted:

But she did enjoy the chocolate milk. Oh, Dood, we know you so well.

But she had a really great time. She sang the birthday song all the way home, accented with train whistles. And here's a close-up of that tasty burger!

I wholeheartedly recommend the Choo-Choo. A really vintage experience, complete with good food, quick service, and some inexpensive fun on a cold day!