Lentil Burgers

I had some leftover filling from my breakfast burritos (potatoes, onion, bell pepper, vegan cheese and tofu), and leftover cooked lentils from my mushroom lentil loaf... I decided they would be a perfect mix for some burgers. (One of my bosses told me that I'm not allowed to call anything vegetarian a "burger," but I think it's less incorrect than the "meatloaf" I brought in, sans meat.)

I'm finding that I can make a burger out of anything fairly pasty (for example, sweet potato, or in this case, the cooked lentils), then by adding breadcrumb and binder. I added some tahini to this mix, breadcrumb, and about two chia "eggs" (1/2 cup ground chia seeds, plus about 3/4 water). Mix, season (I used cumin, chili powder, a little ground fennel and salt and pepper). Mix by hand, keep tasting, and separate into patties to toast up in a pan.

I pre-cooked all of them, and then froze them in packs of two in aluminum foil in the freezer for re-heating.

Now that's so simple, we really need to talk about something else. I was wondering, are we really sure that Matthew Crawley is dead? I mean, he looked pretty dead. I realize that he was underneath the front wheel of a car and bleeding out the head, and then there's that frozen stare... But I'm thinking that there JUST might be a chance.

There's a small chance, right?

Breakfast Savory Crepe Burritos

I have a stepsister who lives in Washington state. If you can believe it, I don't think I've ever actually met her in the 25-some years my mom has been married to her dad. I do know, however, through my mom that she has been a dedicated vegan for many years. She gave me a great vegetarian crepe recipe, which involves chick pea flour and several ingredients. I've had them when my mom has made them for me, and they are very good. However, I have yet to buy any chick pea flour, and I don't often like too measure too many ingredients. So I came up with a "quickie crepe" recipe for savory crepes that is pretty good, and has fewer ingredients, and no measuring at all. The numbers listed are for "parts" - so, however much you like, in the following proportions:

• 1:1:1/2 parts Bisquick, whole wheat flour, and nutritional yeast, respectively 
• 1-2 Tblesp. miso paste, whisked smoothly into a little veggie broth, then added
• water and veggie broth until the mix is fairly thin 

So, that's one part Bisquick (vegan! Yay!) to one part WW flour, to a half part nutritional yeast. I just dump some Bisquick in the left side of a bowl, then add an equal part of the flour, then a half part nutritional yeast. Totally "eyeballed." The resulting crepes are just a little "puffy," and not as paper thin as a true crepe would be. However, they are satisfying and great for filling. I made breakfast burritos out of this batch, filled with a western-style tofu "scramble," lentils, and vegan cheese.

Tofu Scramble

1 diced baked potato (a leftover)
one diced bell pepper
one small diced onion
one package sliced mushrooms
1 block of pressed and crumbled tofu
garlic powder or blackening seasoning, salt and pepper
about a cup of cooked lentils, which I had withheld from my lentil mushroom loaf

I peeled my cooked potato (I make 5 or so baked potatoes at a time in the oven, so that I have them throughout the week for use in cooking, or to top for a quick lunch) and toasted it on high heat in a little vegetable oil until well-browned. Then I added and sautéed the pepper, onion, and mushrooms first, then added the tofu and lentils just to warm them through, and seasoned the mix. I put a little filling down the middle of a crepe, and added vegan cheeses on top. I folded them up, and decided that half would be plenty for a single breakfast!

I first folded them in Glad Press and Seal, then in aluminum foil. They "peel" more easily out of the freezer this way, are protected against freezer burn, and I can drop them in a bowl and re-use the piece of Glad wrap to re-heat them (about 2 minutes a side, covered and on high power).

Mmmm, steamy.

Now I have a hearty breakfast stockpile for the next several months, since I save these for my hurried work mornings.

Vegg Salad

One thing I've figured out quickly on a plant-based diet is that minimizing processed food is not only good for you, it is actually cheaper. I had my month or so with buying up fake cheese and fake frozen meats, only to realize that these manufactured substitutes are more expensive than the product they purport to be, and that they represent the processed food that I've tried so hard to stay away from. The idea behind "vibrant health" (as Morris Hicks calls it in his audio book that I'm currently enjoying, "Healthy Eating, Healthy Planet") isn't simply to eliminate meat - though many people make this choice for ethical reasons alone and subsist on Diet Coke and Fritos - but to eat whole foods (plants). The third point about manufactured vegan products (behind cost and less than optimal health benefit) is that a lot of it tastes like cow puckey.

For example, one of my first attempts was aimed at "fooling" Chris. In my mind, I would present the husband with a vegan lasagna roll, made with lots of gooey, store-bought vegan cheese. He would be amazed at the finished result, exclaiming, "I defy anyone to tell me that this isn't cheese!" He would be whole-heartedly won over to the vegan lifestyle! And then it came out of the oven! And look at it! Doesn't it look delicious?

What I got from Chris, instead, was the statement, "It tastes funky." Well, he was right. It wasn't all-out disgusting, just... Strange. The texture was close. The taste was even close. But it wasn't cheese. I decided to stop trying so hard to make things taste like meat or dairy. Because they aren't. Therefore, they are destined to fail. (And, Chris is no longer allowed to say things, like, "Well, it's good, but it doesn't taste like beef." No, it tastes like seitan. Which is tasty in its own right, if you give it a chance...)

So now, when I make lasagna rolls or pizza, I use some home-made "parmezano sprinkles," (though I like to use raw cashews in my mix) which have a delicious salty, nutty flavor and actually thicken pasta or sauce the way parmesan does - but I don't use a lot. I use tiny amounts of the fake cheese, but only a small amount, in combination with other ingredients. Then they are a reasonable stand-in, adding a little necessary creaminess or binding. But in place of an inch-deep layer of cheese like I used to have on my Lou Malnati's, I've learned to add more plants (such as spinach and garlic), to change the preparation method (roasting makes everything tastier), or to season things differently. I find that the food I'm eating now is more hearty and complex in flavor (no, seriously) instead of simply rich and decadent. Instead of the versions of some things that I used to love, I have different versions of most items now, which I also sincerely love (and love me back a bit more). And I love and even crave them in their own right.

There are a handful of products that I've been impressed with in this moderate to light use, even some that I like better than the original. One of these is Vegenaise, by "Follow Your Heart," which is a company that has my full respect. I've tried their vegan cheddar, and it's my favorite of the fakes. Vegenaise has and incredible, rich, full mayo flavor without eggs. I like it better than regular mayonnaise. I use it in what my brother named my "v-egg" salad. It's a great stand-in for egg or chicken salad. I like it on my favorite new bread, "Ezekiel 4:9" by Food for Life.

Vegg Salad Base

1 block tofu, pressed and crumbled *
2-6 Tblesp. Vegenaise
3-4 Tblesp. nutritional yeast flakes
2 stalks celery, diced small
2-3 Tblesp. fresh parsley, chopped fine
2-3 Tblesp. sliced almonds or chopped walnuts or pecans
1 tsp. ground mustard
1-2 tsp. celery salt
salt and pepper to taste

You really have to add the mayo slowly, and add more just until it holds together. Then just keep tasting. To this, you can create variations by adding things such as halved grapes, dried blueberries and rosemary, sun-dried tomatoes and toasted pignoli in place of the nuts, fresh dill, or just about anything you can think up that you like in chicken salad or egg salad.

I like it with a good amount of greens on the sandwich, but you can also have it in a pita, or a scoop atop a salad.

*Tofu has to have the water pressed out of it before using. I like to wrap mine in a clean tea towel and use one of these, but you can also wrap it and press it under something heavy for 20 minutes, like a cast iron dutch oven. Then crumble it with your fingers into a mixing bowl.

Chinese Cabbage, Help Me Into These Pants

So, I'm six months out from my second baby. As with the first time, after the nausea subsided, I wanted a variety of greasy meats. Here's a glimpse of the type of thing I craved during my pregnancy! Hopefully, you can keep your breakfast down.

Since you probably can't tell, that's Jaenicke's hot dog chili (from my frozen stash, since they're 2 hours away and only open in summer) on pasta,  and Cheez Whiz. And a salad. You know, for the baby. Not impressed? Okay, how about a little fire, Scarecrow?

I also made the chili into a pizza. Oh yeah, and of course, chili dogs, because I didn't need to be creative all the time, I just needed to cram it into my gigundic maw.

I couldn't even wait to take the picture for that one.

Anyway, here's the pasta remix:

I cut the extra-firm tofu in half lengthwise, wrapped it in paper towels, and pressed it under a heavy pot for over an hour. Then I cubed it, tossed it in corn starch, and fried it very lightly in just a tiny bit of oil. When it was done, I seasoned it with salt, pepper, and chili powder. Then I set it aside, and sautéed mixed mushrooms (with shiitake and oyster, but you can use regular), and cubed Chinese cabbage (bok choy). I seasoned it with a tiny bit of salt, pepper, and a LITTLE Chinese five spice blend. Then I tossed it in a whisked mixture of about a tablespoon of Hoisin sauce, a little rice wine vinegar, and about a half cup of chicken broth. I served it over buckwheat soba noodles and added the tofu back in. I have a little less than 8 pounds still to lose, and then I'm buying all new underwear for myself as my reward. I will let everyone know when I get there by announcing on facebook, "IT IS UNDERWEAR DAY AT LAST."

Oh, what the hell. Here's one more photo of Jewel's chicken fingers, cheese sticks, and various full-fat dipping sauces. Time to say, "Bon voya-gee, Sam and Stella!"

Baba Ghanoush

Baba ghanoush is an Arabic dip made from eggplant that I'm thinking most of us have had by now. Don't worry if you can't pronounce it. Just make it, and eat it.



I've purchased baba ghanoush in a can that was, believe it or not, fairly decent. But it is so inexpensive to make, like, a metric ton of it. Like dude: a TON. Anyway, I froze several containers of it for later. I'll let you know how that goes.

Ingredients:

4 eggplants
olive oil
lemon juice
3 or 4 garlic cloves
beans or tofu
salt and pepper

Here's how you do it: I use a simple 4/40/400 rule: put four eggplants on a cookie sheet with foil for 40 minutes at 400 degrees. Turn them over once halfway through cooking. Let them cool. Then peel the skin off and put the "meat" into a food processor with three or four cloves of garlic (yes, this plan of mine will yield a strong garlic flavor. If you want less, use less, but honestly just thinking about that makes me a little sad). Use salt (plenty, keep tasting) and pepper and a little something to thicken the mix: I use either a rinsed can of white beans, chickpeas, or about 3/4 cup of tofu (whatever you have). Then I add lemon juice, and I use the concentrated stuff if I don't have fresh ones on hand.

Blend it all up, and while it is whirring, drizzle in about a quarter cup of olive oil. Serve it with chips or pita, and drizzle it with more olive oil and some paprika. So, so good, and good for you (unless you have a date or a job interview). My friend Lynn recently made me aware of "sale produce" at our local Italian grocery, where they sell produce in big bundles that has only a day or two left. So I made this quadruple batch for about $1.29. What a thrill!

Mmmm... Umami!

I found this article from the Wall Street Journal to be intensely illuminating, and I just had to share it. (Please do not get the impression that I am a regular WSJ reader; I am nowhere near that deep.) At first I clicked on the title and read it just out of curiosity: a new taste discovered? Neat.

But now I realize that this article is all about me. Some of you out there are sweetness junkies and carb-lovers. My husband is a good example: we have joked for years about the loving way that he hovers over any pastry, bread, rice, potato, sugary snack or, *gasp*, any combination of the aforementioned (like a cinnamon roll, or a sugared pastry.) I have always said that I like salt as much as he likes sugar, but that isn't exactly right. I do often find dishes to be too salty. But now I know what it is that I really crave: umami!

The article describes "umami" as the deep, meaty, satisfying and complex flavor that is present in a variety of foods: Worcestershire sauce, mushrooms, parmesan cheese, anchovies, and on and on. Just as table sugar is "just sweet," MSG is "just umami." Some parts of the article are a bit scary, like the goings-on of a certain food lab that is using "an artificial taste bud" (bringing sci-fi images of a large, disembodied organ to mind -- if I touched it, would it taste me?) to test artificial means of manufacturing umami, and a PR push to get the public to accept MSG as a "more natural product." But there are natural ways of bringing out the umami flavor that is already present in foods: by roasting, grilling, drying, and sautéing. To me, this gives a name to something that I have figured out in experimenting with vegetarian foods. Using certain ingredients, combined with certain techniques (mushrooms, parmesan, roasted veggies, grilled tofu and eggplant, sun-dried tomatoes, etc.) make a dish much more satisfying than those without. I'm not a vegetarian, but I think the knowledge makes my vegetarian dishes better. Personally, I think it is umami that separates the vegetarian entrées from the side dishes.

It also explains why I've always needed parmesan in my chicken soup! What I need now is a t-shirt that tells the world what I really am: "Umami Freak."

P.S. I first read this article on a tiny screen in small text -- I apologize, but I misspelled umami the first time around. My thanks to those who commented and shouted this at me in ALL CAPS. Oops.

Hebrew National Hot Dogs

A hot dog is not something your typical gourmet indulges in on a regular basis, if ever. Luckily for me, I'm no gourmet. Still, other than the occasional turkey or soy dog (I like Morning Star Farms dogs and corn dogs the best), I didn't purchase hot dogs as a general rule. What other meat is so famous for being so grossly mysterious? For one thing, they are not a healthy food (duh). Most have lots of fat, or lots of preservatives, carcinogens, and other chemical ick (yes, even some of the veggie ones.) Also, I've seen the process of making a typical hot dog on Discovery, or say, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. When you watch a hot dog go from raw product, to yellowy extrusion, to the addition of smoky flavors and nitrites, the temptation to eat one is lessened considerably. Now add these other factors to an unfortunate incident I experienced as a teenager, in which I pulled a largish piece of coiled plastic sheeting out from within a cheap frankfurter. You'll see that my odds of ordering the grilled chicken sandwich instead of the mystery dog at Wrigley become very high indeed.

But while at the ol' Trader Joe's, I had a summertime craving for a really good hot dog. And I saw the Hebrew Nationals, a 100% kosher beef frank (I don't eat pork, either, my Jewish brothers) that contains nothing artificial. I remembered how much I liked them when they gave them away once a year at the office building in Skokie I used to work in. I got the Reduced Fat, and so far I like those the best. The 97% Fat Free variety, sadly, didn't have nearly as good a flavor.



Of course, even while eating hot dogs, I'm trying to "up" the nutritional value and minimize the damage... So I paired the dogs with TJ's sweet potato oven fries (cook 'em high and hot, or they'll sog out on you), and dipped those in a little low-fat ranch mixed with BBQ sauce (my two current favorites are Sweet Baby Ray's and Famous Dave's Texas Pit.) And, of course, whole wheat buns. I put Dijon mustard and relish on mine, and tried not to look when C-Dub added ketchup to his. I just kept reminding myself, "He's a good man, he's a good man..."

For my money, these are the best and the only dogs out there. But I could be suffering from inexperience, since I haven't tried them all... Would you sooner die than eat one? Or do you eat several every week? How do they fix 'em where you live?

What's your favorite hot dog?

Thai Chili Garlic Paste

Nearly a year ago, I purchased a lot of new ingredients that were called for in a cookbook I got called "30-Minute Thai." I have only followed the recipes once or twice, but I've monkeyed with the ingredients quite a bit. I like to mix them with other asian ingredients, like soba noodles. I call this "Asian Fusion." Nah, you know me better than that. I call it, "My Cookbook is Too High Up and Requires a Stepladder."

You'd be hard-pressed to abuse soba noodles (which are yummy in plain broth or anything else), or fish sauce (milder than soy), but one ingredient I've had to learn to treat with respect is the thai chili garlic paste. Here's what you don't do:



Don't assume that two puny tablespoons and some olive oil for an entire bag of sliced pork tenderloin won't kill your entire family if you use it as a marinade. Because it will. As my friend J. Moy stated, "Oh hell no. That shit will blow your head off." Sure, on the jar it says, "condiment." But I can't imagine an amount of this stuff small enough for me to actually be able to use it as a topping. I dunno if we're way too caucasian, but my husband and I cried, sweated, and blew our noses through half of a pork chop each before conceding total inedibility. I was able to salvage the rest of the chops only by slicing up the leftovers and putting them into wonton soup. Whew. Which is a relief, because for a couple of days, looking at the leftovers in the fridge actually made me afraid.

Don't run from your leftovers. Here's what you can do:



Despite thai chili paste being the bad-boy in my fridge, my peanut butter has fallen deeply in love with him. And they are great together. You can mix a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter with about 1/4 teaspoon and enough olive oil and fish (or soy) sauce to thin it out, and it makes a great brush-on for chicken (with a little salt and pepper).



I now really love the chili sauce for the authentic, layered flavor it gives to the sauces you mix it with. (And let's face it, the stuff sure is economical at this concentration.) You can use it as a great toss with soba or rice noodles, too. I start with a little garlic and oil, add the merest quarter teaspoon of chili sauce, the same two tablespoons of peanut butter, and thin it with chicken stock. Add some scallions, veggies, fish sauce, and toss in the cooked noodles. I top it with crushed peanuts. I like the noodles with chicken, or fried tofu triangles.



Cut the firm tofu into the triangle shape, and roll them in corn starch. Fry them for a couple of minutes in shallow oil on each side until golden. Drain, and salt and pepper them with a little regular ol' chili and garlic powder. Crispy and savory, without the sensation that a thousand screaming-hot white dwarf suns are dying on the surface of your tongue. Which no one wants.