Cameron's Chicken Dip

Superbowl week! Time to post some high-fat snack ideas. Also, I'm more or less on a diet, so I'm basically determined to ruin everyone else's. (I just have a food blog. I never said I was a good person.)

You might remember that my friend Brooke introduced me to artichoke dip my freshman year in college. Cameron's chicken enchilada dip is like that SNL Elvis sketch: "just like that... 'cept diff'rent." This dip is crazy good and highly addictive. Cam brought this dip to my friend Jenny's party, and he made the mistake of getting up to get the bag of chips. When he came back, it was GONE. No joke. (It was an awkward moment, as we sat there with full mouths and teaspoons, and Cam standing there with mouth agape). By the way, the guy in the back is Cameron, called "the Wookie" fondly by his, ahem, shorter friends.

(And much love to Mrs., and the Little Wookies). Here's the original recipe from allrecipes.com, and be sure to read Cameron and my notes at the end before making:

Original Recipe (Allrecipes.Com):

Ingredients:
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (8 ounce) jar mayonnaise
1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese
1 (4 ounce) can diced green chile peppers
1 jalapeño pepper, finely diced

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Place chicken breast halves on a medium baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven 20 minutes, or until no longer pink. Remove from heat, cool and shred. Place shredded chicken in a medium bowl, and mix in cream cheese, mayonnaise, Cheddar cheese, green chile peppers and jalapeño pepper. Transfer the chicken mixture to a medium baking dish. Bake uncovered in the preheated oven 30 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown.

Cam's dip ALWAYS turned out noticeably better than mine, so I suggest you follow his alterations to the letter is you want the maximum yumminess! So here are the notes from Cam:

• "Always use either the Philly's neufchatel or the full-fat cream cheese, and usually the Hellman's canola mayo."
• "I do the chicken breasts in the crockpot for (2 hours on high, or 4-6 hours on low) with tequila and lime juice just to about cover the breasts, and Adobo spices and usually some garlic powder (or some other mexicany spice combination, I've done chili powder, paprika & cumin before, really, I think as long as there's some cumin from some source you are good to go) and just shred it with a fork in the pot."

• "I use the Mexican blend cheese in the 2.5 pound bag from Costco or shredded habañero cheddar (I think Cabot is the brand, its at Costco also). I use pickled jalapeño instead of fresh jalapeño, and tailor the amount to the spiciness I want (about 1 spoonful for mild dip (Cam's real word here: "weaksauce"), and about 4 or 5 coupled with the habañero cheddar for the mouf-burner)."

Okay, so here are my notes. Essentially, they are to dry all the chicken and diced peppers on a clean towel before adding. I've had real problems with overly wet ingredients - I'm talking DRY. I also like to add the cheeses and mayo slowly, so that it doesn't come out too wet/mayonnaise-y. However, you should taste the final mix before it goes into the oven. It may need more seasoning. I also prefer to use (despite the photo) a more oval/oblong pan, so that it bakes in a thinner layer, and you get more of the crusty top surface area, since it is the best part. And again, don't use low-fat anything.

Hope I haven't made it sound too difficult... It's actually really easy, just kinda one of those that comes out great, but you might want to play with it a little.

Miss you like crazy, Wookies!

Slow Cooker Spicy Chicken and Rice

Okay, my posts have gotten a bit shorter. But there's a good reason for that. My time has gotten shorter, too! And I figure if my time is shorter, then other people are probably short on time, too. Since, you know, I only have the one kid, and/or I don't work full time. So hopefully other people will be interested in dinners that are as fast as I'd like them to be. And if not, have you read dooce.com lately?



Oh, and sorry about the lousy picture. Again: time crunch.

First you drop four to six chicken breasts into the slow cooker. Or hell, just use two, I don't care. Sometimes you get through those giant Costco packages of chicken and all you have are two left over. Or maybe you just bought two, and that's a little bit sad and lonely for you, but I'm not here to make you feel worse. (But really, you should make more and plan for leftovers. I'm not your mother but I'm just sayin'.) I was about to add "then lightly season the chicken," but who am I kidding? I didn't do that.

Then you drop a can or two of cream of mushroom (or cream of anything) soup on top. Also add wild or brown rice, and enough liquid to cook the rice (I like to use chicken broth). Cook it for six hours or so, and the chicken will break apart easily with two forks, so you can s-to-the-hred it. Then add a liberal amount of hot sauce (I like Red Hot), and some salsa, and stir it again.

This can be eaten with a salad or veggie on the side, but it's also really good inside tortillas with taco fixings.



The best part about this dinner is this: not only did you barely cook today, but you don't have to cook tomorrow, either!

Battle Potato

My good (well, she's "great," actually) friend Ann has a sister who is battling MS. Every year Ann joins in the fight against the disease by captaining a team for the MS Walk (to hear Ann and her sister Maggie's story or to make a donation at any time, go here.) As a "thank you" to her friends and donors, she threw a party this year and called it "Battle Potato," in the style of Iron Chef on the Food Network. In case you're the last person on the planet not to see the show, everyone was to bring a dish with potato as an ingredient. Then the guests vote on their favorite, and the winner jumps on his or her cutting board, and shouts "IN YOUR FACE. FOR MS RESEARCH" at all the other guests, while brandishing a butcher knife. And now (it must be said), "Allez cuisine!"

Ann decorated the place all purty with potato centerpieces.



The guests who cooked were given numbered cards to place by their dishes, for the vote later on.



One gi-normous nerd brought a title card for her dish, and pinned her number to the card with an Idaho potato button that she just happened to have brought. Who's the geek?



My card reads, "Twice-baked ranch potatoes with scratch chicken BBQ." Poor Ann had other guests asking her, "where's my title card?" And she had to keep saying, "Uh, she made that." Well, you know what? You could have made your own, too. Don't hate the player.

There were more dishes than I imagined would be there. Curry salad, egg pie, thai dishes, and au gratin. I began to sweat. And eat. Eat and sweat.



I really, really enjoyed the food. When I saw the potato desserts, I knew it was over. There were chocolate-dipped chips, and cream-cheese frosted potato spice cake. There were DOUGHNUTS. How do you compete with that? Might as well just fill my plate.



Some folks got in a time-crunch, and were still courteous enough to go and get what people really like, and then arrange it artfully on a plate. Thanks Abby! Truthfully, I probably had more of the fries than anything else... So now I was contending with food science. You can't argue with years of testing for aroma and "mouth feel."



Or, have some red wine.



Then, form a totem pole, because it mocks both ancient Native American customs as well as your own ridiculously short stature. Everyone wins!



After eating, we all were to vote once for "Best Tasting," and once for "Most Creative." Ann had potato-shaped ballots to write the numbers on, and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head receptacles to put them in. Aw, shmoosh.



And when the votes were tallied, my friends Anna and Adam won for "Most Creative" for their chocolate-dipped chips, and I won for "Best Tasting." Yay! I think it is POSSIBLE that some people pitied the sad girl who made the title card... Or as Jason ribbed me (who baked the cake at #6), he was pretty sure some of his votes got construed as my #9. Also possible. But Jeff said, "I counted those votes. I know my sixes from my nines." What's an election without controversy?

My prize was a colander, filled with everything needed to make a pasta dinner. Which is crazy, because that's exactly what I gave Ann as a wedding gift about a decade ago, only with a double-boiler instead of the colander. So now, I'm pretty sure I owe her a wedding gift. Still, I'm stoked because I can really use that colander!



I can't wait until this party goes again next year. And if I win again, I'll try to be more careful brandishing that butcher knife. (Sorry honey - but you were already missing most of your hair anyway, right?) Thanks for the party, Ann. It was awesome.

Here's my recipe for the potatoes, only this time, I added Hidden Valley Ranch Dip mix to the potato mixture. I also refrigerated the baked potatoes overnight in their foil, and they were a lot easier to scoop out the next day.

Easy Galumpki Bake

Recently, I was at my friend Beata's baby shower. She and her husband are Polish, and they had lots of Polish friends, who brought quite a bit of Polish food. And when I say, "they brought quite a bit," I mean in the way that Sitting Bull brought quite a bit of Cheyenne to a small party with Custer. It was astounding. After we all ate our fill, Beata announced, "And now, we eat dinner!" Holy crap. That's when the meat really came out. Dear lord, the meat! If meat makes for a healthy baby (and I think I'm a testament to that), then this kid is gonna be Herculean.

One of the many tasty, meaty items was galumpki, which I think most people have had at one time or another. They're also called cabbage rolls, and that's just what they are: rolled cabbage leaves with rice and pork in the center, and tomato sauce on top. All through my childhood, my father made them, and mistakenly called them "pigs in a blanket," which they are not.

They're great, but not so easy to make. The cabbage leaves have to be blanched, and the rice pre-cooked, and then of course there's all the rolling. I made a sort of "deconstructed" galumpki in the slow cooker, which is also a bit healthier because it uses turkey. It tastes great (much like the original), and utilizes a much simpler "open package, dump contents" sort of technique.



Ingredients:
1 carrot, peeled and broken up
1 celery stick with leaves
1/2 onion
1 clove garlic
(if you made the Turkey Chili Mac, then you already have these in your fridge)
1 cup uncooked brown rice
1 bag of cole slaw mix (shredded cabbage and carrots)
1 lb. ground turkey
1 cup water
1 29 oz. can tomato sauce (puree)
salt and pepper

In layers, place half the bag of cabbage mix, then half the mix of the first four veggies, which you've pulsed to a fine chop in the food processor. Add half the rice, then tear half the turkey up into chunks to complete the first layer. Make sure you season the meat. Then repeat each layer once more, and season again. Add the sauce to the top, and the water. Cook on low for six to eight hours.



Serve with crusty bread, with parmesan cheese on top. Mm!

BBQ Chicken Pizza and Twice-Baked Potatoes

I know I've shared my recipe for BBQ chicken in the crockpot before, but oh lord, I'm getting good at this.



It's finally got that dark mahogany color and smoky flavor that I want it to have. Here's the new and improved recipe:

two cups of ketchup
one cup of mustard, any kind
two capfuls of liquid smoke
about a quarter to a half cup of molasses
one cup of packed brown sugar
as much Red Hot sauce as you think you’ll like
one dark beer, or a couple of shots bourbon for a thicker sauce
half a medium onion, diced finely
two cloves diced garlic
a heavy shake of cumin (don’t be shy) and a shake of coriander
salt and pepper (plenty of black pepper)
two small cans of tomato paste (this is the new part - my sauce was coming out too runny)

(This is the same recipe that I printed here for the beef ribs. You can really plunge any meat ya like into this sauce, and it'll come out tasty. Or in a pinch, use shoe leather.) In this case, I put two packages of chicken into it, and cooked it for six hours. When the chicken shreds very easily with a fork, shred it all up right there in the Crockpot. This recipe makes a ton of chicken. I freeze half for another time. You can use some in tacos, on buns as sandwiches, or on a pizza (great with goat cheese and thinly sliced red onions, and more cheddar on top).



I decided some would be great on top of some twice-baked potatoes. So I made up a recipe for those, and it came out great. First, bake four potatoes. Use the big brown russet or baking potatoes for this. Scrub them, pierce them with a fork in several places, salt them liberally and put a dab of butter on top of them inside some foil. Wrap them up and bake them for about an hour to 75 minutes at 400 degrees. (I've read some recipes since that insist you don't use the foil - I'll try this next time. But I didn't want the skins to shrivel, and they didn't doing this with the foil.) When they come out, vent them a little and let them cool until you can handle them. Then scoop out most of the insides into a bowl, leaving about a half-inch of flesh. You can't really scoop all of it out, because then the skin will be too thin.

To the potato flesh, add one brick of cream cheese (light is fine). Sauté one diced half-onion and one clove of crushed garlic in a little oil, and add that to the mixture, plus a little salt. Mix, and put the mixture back in the potatoes (I had returned them to the foil I used before). Then top with cheddar, and bake at 375 degrees for about fifteen minutes.



You can top them with bacon or anything else you like. I put the BBQ chicken on top, along with scallions and light sour cream (hey, every little bit helps.)



They were mounded so high, we ended up just eating a half at a time, so it made lots of nice leftovers.

Hey, love BBQ, bacon, swearing and hardened arteries? You have to check out this post on my brother's blog (he's the funny one in the family.) But don't go if you don't like the swearing. As a matter of fact, what are you still reading my goddamn blog for?

Crockpot BBQ and Easy Smashed Potatoes

I've been shopping at Costco more often, in an attempt to make several portions and thereby keep our food costs down. Neither of us mind leftovers, so that works out well.

A couple of weeks ago I grabbed some boneless beef ribs on sale that looked tasty. I decided to try to make some "Crockpot BBQ" out of them instead of slow-cooking them in the oven.



I seared the meat in a skillet first on all sides, using a nice hot pan and then I seasoned them at that time, as well (salt, pepper, garlic powder). Then I put them in the slow cooker with what has developed into my bar-b-que sauce recipe (I keep tweaking):

two cups of catsup, or ketchup if ya nasty
one cup of mustard, any kind
two capfuls of liquid smoke
about a quarter to a half cup of molasses
one cup of packed brown sugar
as much Red Hot sauce as you think you’ll like
one dark beer, or a couple of shots bourbon
half a medium onion, diced finely
two cloves diced garlic
a heavy shake of cumin (don't be shy) and a shake of coriander
salt and pepper (plenty of black pepper)
two small cans of tomato paste (this is the new part - my sauce was coming out too runny)

I cooked the beef for about six hours. I had to skim fat (oil) off the top, because the ribs were pretty fatty. However, after that was done the beef didn't have any big pieces of fat on it, because it had all been rendered and skimmed off the top. (Now I dunno if that's for everyone, but I happen to be what the epicurean ladies call a "real man" in my cooking.)

I made smashed 'taters, too. Several years ago I started making these based on something I saw Rachel Ray do with red potatoes. It works with those, but I like the Yukon Gold even better. If you haven't tried those potatoes, you really must. They're buttery, and the skins are light.

I scrub the potatoes (about 6-8 of them), then I dice them and boil them with plenty of salt in the water. I don't peel them (they're better for you this way, anyway), I just remove the bad bits and the "eyes." I drain them, then add one container of cream cheese (believe it or not, the fat-free works fine, too), and enough chicken broth a bit at a time until they are the consistency I want using a hand potato masher. Then I add salt and pepper to taste. Without the peeling and the whipping, making mashed potatoes this way is just as easy as making any other veggie.

I served it with green salad or a green veggie (taking back my "real man" status, perhaps), and DAMN. I have to say I just about sprained a muscle patting myself on the back over this one. Hoo doggie! I think it came to about $1.50 or $2 each serving. Lots of leftovers, too, and the taters just soak up that sauce.

Sweet and Sour Meatballs

Everyone has to have a few go-to recipes to bring to a party, or feed a large crowd. Mine is the old sweet-n-sour meatballs. Or, if you prefer, "sweet 'n sour."



I first fell in love with these at an opening night at a Kankakee Valley Theater show... Someone's mom brought them, and she couldn't believe I'd never had them. They're the sort of thing everyone who grows up in an organized small-town church has at everyone's house at any function. I think I must have had six pounds of the tasty suckers the first time I had them. I'd had Italian meatballs, and Swedish meatballs, but dang. Those protestant ones sure hit the spot.

Any time you need something to bring to a baby shower or a tailgate party, this here's your huckleberry. You can make most of it the night before (raw meat right in the sauce) and put the Crockpot in the fridge, then the next day cook them at your event. Or, you could cook them overnight, then bring them cooked and warm to your destination early in the morning, and even reheat them later in the slow cooker. I've done both. Just be prepared to skim some grease off the top (if you use beef, not really so much with the turkey) before serving.

I think I originally got this recipe on About.com... but I've changed it a bit (and this version reflects that). Despite the Asian-sounding name to the dish, they're nothing of the kind... Just the delightful "meat candy" I'm always on about.

1 cup soft bread crumbs
1 cup milk
a couple shots of Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup finely chopped onion (REALLY fine)
1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef, or ground turkey
1/ pound lean ground pork, optional (I generally do just 2 lbs. turkey, or sometimes beef if I'm going cheap. Hey, sometimes you got a whole other party budget to plan out.)
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
about 1 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 cup finely diced parsley (if you have it)
2 (12-ounce) bottles of chili sauce -- generic is fine
1/2 cup water (beef stock or beer is also nice, and yes, alcohol evaporates when heated)
1 jar (10 oz.) grape jelly (again, go generic)
hot cooked rice or noodles (when feeding a crowd, I just bring toothpicks, a large serving spoon, and skip the noodles)

Combine the bread crumbs, milk, diced onion, ground meat, egg, salt, pepper, garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce, and parsley. Mix (don't overmix) the mixture and shape into 1-inch balls. What I do is put the rest of the ingredients (the sauce) into the cool slow cooker and whisk the liquid. Then I just add the meatballs as I form them, right into the sauce. I don't worry about them touching or anything. Now, you can refrigerate them like this, or cook them right away.

I cook them for about 6 hours on low. Don't reach in and stir them for about 3 hours (until the meat has begun to cook). Then you can re-distribute them, and they won't mush up or break apart.

I have never, ever brought these anywhere and not had every single one eaten. And I've been making these for years now... So I always take some out for Chris and I before I go to the party. You can freeze them raw in sauce and cook them later, or just freeze the cooked meatballs and warm them later. Always a hit (except with the vegetarian crowd I guess... But if they say they aren't tempted, they're lying.)

Fredbangers Bowl

A friend of mine has a policeman for a boyfriend... I don't know why it is, but cops and firemen seem to make the best chili in the world. After some begging on my part, he gave me the recipe for his chili (he calls it "Fred's Bangin' Chili.") He is a super-nice guy, and his chili might be the best I've ever tasted. I hope his recipe wasn't a secret. Fred is a really nice guy, but he isn't someone I'd necessarily want to mess with!



This recipe is also the one that introduced me to Adobo seasoning, which comes in handy quite frequently, I find. You can use it to season flour to fry things, or to season any type of meat -- anywhere you would use garlic salt or something like it. You just have to watch it if you're controlling your salt intake (you could substitute garlic powder, or try the low-sodium version). Try it... you'll like it!

Here's the recipe... enjoy, then freeze the leftovers and feed a whole police squad:

Ingredients:
-2 lbs. ground beef (I like to use 80% lean) or ground turkey
-2-28 oz cans Hunt's crushed tomatoes
-2-28 oz cans dark red kidney beans (I did half pinto beans cuz I like them, too)
-1-12 oz bottle of Pilsner beer (your choice)
-6 stalks green onion, chopped
-1 head fresh garlic: minced or pressed
-1 large red bell pepper: diced
-2 jalapeno or serrano peppers: stemmed, seeded, and minced

Chili Spices:
-2 packs McCormick chili spices (powder)

OR (the REAL way)
-6 Tbls chili powder
-2 Tbls ground cumin
-1 tsp paprika
-1/4 tsp red cayenne pepper powder
-1 1/2 Tbls dried oregano
-1 Tbls adobo powder
-1 Tbls freshly ground black pepper
-salt to taste

Preparation:
-In a frying pan, brown 2 lbs ground meat and drain well
-In a large stew pot or Dutch oven, add meat and vegetables and stir over medium heat until onions and peppers wilt (approx 5 minutes)
-Add spices and seasonings, stir
-Add crushed tomatoes
-Add kidney beans that have been drained and rinsed
-Add beer, stir
-Add water (if needed) until desired consistency
-Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low
-Simmer for approximately 1 1/2 hours, stirring every 5 minutes or so

One last note from Fred, "Refrigerate over night in pot before eating. Not essential, but I think it tastes better, as all of the ingredients blend together nicely."

We like ours with light sour cream, shredded cheese, and oyster crackers. Thanks, Fred!

Loose Meat Sandwiches

I never heard of a "loose meat" sandwich until they appeared on Roseanne I dunno how many years ago, when the main character based the restaurant she opened, the Lunch Box, around her famous recipe for loose meat sandwiches. Not long afterwards, being a new resident to central Illinois, I visited my first Maid-Rite. The sandwiches there were pretty good -- though I think they tasted better if you have a nostalgic attachment to them.

Then last year, I had one of my sister-in-law's loose meat sandwiches. I'm not even sure if that's what she called them, but they were ground meat sandwiches, the filling for which she had warmed in the Crockpot. It was her grandmother's simple recipe, and I'm telling you, I could have eaten fifty of them. In reality, I think I may have eaten just over twenty.

I recently made up my own recipe based on what she told me was in those (I'm sure she would have given me the recipe over the phone, but if I'm often too lazy to look at a recipe, I'm definitely too lazy to pick up the phone). I think I got really close, although I think she may have used meat with a higher fat content. I had very lean ground beef, which as usual, had only made it into our house because I had to buy some to make something else to bring to a crowd of people.



The difference between these and say, a Manwich or a Sloppy Joe is that basically they aren't as tomato sauce-y, and there aren't any green peppers in them. The ingredients that you add cook down enough so that all that is left is their enhancement of the meat itself.

First, I added the following ingredients to the food processor:

1 cup celery
1 cup onions
1 cup carrots
3 cloves garlic

Pulse those until everything is very finely chopped, but not puréed. Then add the vegetables to a large sauce pan or skillet, and wilt the vegetables with a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. Then add about 1.5 pounds of ground meat, and brown it (drain if you wish, which will yield a leaner end product). Add about 1 cup ketchup, 1/2 cup mustard, and a little brown sugar. Season it again.

I simmered mine together right there in the pan for about 45 minutes, or until the meat is crumbly, and the other ingredients are no longer recognizable as separate entities, so to speak. It should just look like ground meat. You could also transfer it to a slow cooker immediately after the browning phase, and place it on "low," and let it simmer in there until you achieve the same result. (Couple hours, probably).

I served the sandwiches with Trader Joe's greens, cooked with broth, onions, garlic, and their thick-cut turkey bacon... There reheated very well, were delish with a little cheddar on them, and tasted very, very good. You can double or triple the recipe to feed a crowd, too!

Trader Joe's Green Soup

This is a simple soup I like to make from my booty from Trader Joe's. TJ's used to offer a frozen mixed greens bag, containing spinach, broccoli, green beans, and edamame. At our location, however, the mix disappeared around the time of the Great Spinach Scare, and hasn't reappeared since. Now I have to buy each vegetable, and add them separately. I mean, this soup used to be so simple. Now I have to open four individual bags. Sheesh, what am I, some kind of soup-making machine?



Anyway, what I do is brown and chop Joe's feta and spinach chicken sausages, then add them to the Crockpot. In the slowcooker, I also add a bit of each veggie (frozen right out of the bag), about a cup or two of aneletti or other small pasta, diced onion and garlic to taste, and enough chicken broth to fill the thing. I just let it all simmer together until the pasta is cooked (on high).

Make sure to pile it high with parmesan or romano when you dish it up, of course...

Dad's Pasta Sauce

Okay, here it is -- the big one. Our dad's pasta sauce. Which he never would have called it. This is really Dad's "tomato gravy." Born to Sicilian parents on Long Island and raised in Queens, the word "pasta" was not really in Dad's lexicon. All pasta was called "macaroni," and the sauce was "red sauce" or "tomato gravy."

This is how his mother taught him to make sauce. As a side note, I'd like to address those who say that meatballs in sauce are not Italian. You don't know what you're talking about. The meatball is "native" to many European cultures, including Italy. You may not find Italians putting meatballs right on the pasta (it is more common for them to be served on the side), however, Sicilian-Americans definitely do. They (we) also tend to make meatballs larger than they do in the more northern regions, and we cook the meatballs (at least partially) right in the sauce. I've heard Alton Brown say that "he's never seen an Italian do that..." Well, he never came to our house I guess. Anyway, authentic native Italian food or not -- this is authentic Americano Siciliano food, you can believe that.



Dad's "gravy" is a vegetarian's worst nightmare. A veritable slaughterhouse buffet, the variety of meats contained in the sauce is the whole linchpin to the flavor. Without the meat, it is just runny red stuff. However, we didn't eat this stuff every day -- the way to do it is to freeze a few batches for later, or the arrival of last-minute company. Making this sauce is one of the only occasions on which I will buy red meat to prepare at home. And truly, it just has to be red meat. I've tried the sauce with all turkey-based products, and the outcome is nothing similar. So if you're gonna do it, go for it, and ask the animals' spirits to forgive you afterwards.

The sauce contains the Holy Meat Trinity: meatballs, Italian sausage, and short ribs. David prefers to use a leaner meat, like pork chops, instead of the short ribs (we argued about this once in the meat section of the grocery store). Well, Dad tended to use what was on sale. But for me, my memory is strongly attached to that tender short-rib meat falling off the bone after slow-cooking. You can fish the bones out before serving.

You prepare the meatballs, sausage, and short ribs as follows. Then you simmer them all in sauce, in a gigantic sauce pot or a couple of large standard pots, for half the day. That's pretty much it. So here are the ingredients, one at a time:

Meatballs:
I like to use about three pounds of meatloaf mixture, or a mix of beef, pork, and veal. (I usually do the beef and pork). Again, it is the mix of different types of meat that is really key here.

Add to that:

• about a half cup of Italian-seasoned breadcrumb


• one meduim, thinly diced yellow onion


• two or three cloves of minced garlic


• about 1/2 cup finely chopped parsely


• two eggs


• one cup of milk and a little water


• salt and pepper


• a couple of shots of worcheshire sauce

Hand-mix the meatball mixture. Start slowly with the breadcrumb -- too much will take away from the flavor of the meatballs, and cause your cantankerous Zia to complain that "those meatballs were just terrible... that's all I gotta say." Make sure that the mixture is still moist when you form the meatballs, but not too wet.

Dad used to brown the meatballs in oil. To me, this is a bit time-consuming, and adds a little more fat than you really need for flavor. I prefer to put the meatballs on tin foil atop a cookie sheet in a really hot oven while I brown the rest of the meat. You have to brown all the meat. You need that caramel-y flavor, and it seals the juices inside the meat. Trust me, I've skipped it before. Don't skip it. The meatballs, especially, will fall apart in the sauce if you skip this part. So -- 375-400 degrees, for ten to fifteen minutes. They just need to be brown on the outside, and they will still be raw on the inside. Note: Let the sauce simmer for about an hour-and-a-half before you add the meatballs, or else they will fall apart too early.

Sausage:
I use one package of sausage, but I will split one package of hot Italian sausage with one package sweet sausage, so that I have one package of half-and-half, and then save the other package for later in the freezer.

Brown the sausage in a skillet, and then place them in a large sauce pot. Again, the meat will be raw inside.

Short Ribs:
I use two packages. I like to trim some of the mega-fat off the ribs, but not all of it. I also trim off the membrane that's on the side. Then I sprinkle the meat with garlic powder, salt, and black pepper. Then you brown the meat in a skillet, drain them a bit on paper towels, and put them each in the large pot with the sausage.

Sauce:
These proportions will make the one giant batch of sauce that dad used to make:

• Two large cans of tomato puree (I think it is 32 oz., but truthfully I don't even look anymore. There's one in the next picture.)


• Two small cans of tomato paste


• One of each empty can (one puree can, and one paste can), filled with mostly water and a little wine


• Three or four minced cloves of garlic


• Italian seasoning to taste -- about 1/8 to 1/4 cup (use minced fresh oregano and basil if ya got 'em)


• A sprinkle of red pepper flakes, to taste


• Salt (start with about 1/8 cup or a couple healthy pinches) and pepper

Making it:
This takes at least four hours. Five is better. Stir all the ingredients, starting slowly on all the seasonings. Then bring it to a boil, and lower it to a simmer. Every twenty minutes or so, use a tablespoon to skim off the deep red grease from the top. When you've skimmed it, stir it again. Wait and then skim, stir again. After an hour or two, add the meatballs and continue. If it needs more seasoning, add it. The sauce starts off very watery, but remember, it will reduce and thicken a lot with the lid off. If it thickens too much, you add more wine or more water.

My problem was that some of the meat always stuck and burned to the bottom, no matter how diligently I stirred it. I think this is because I can't shell out the dough for a decent stock pot (large ones with a non-stick base are expensive), and the metal on mine is very thin. Also, all that meat sinks and there is so much of it, it becomes very difficult to push it around without breaking it all apart.

So I came up with a solution. Now, I brown all my meat, lots and lots of it, and split it into smaller batches (still raw inside.) I put packets that each contain a few meatballs, a couple of sausages (halved so that they are easier to manage on a fork), and a couple of short ribs into the freezer in foil. Then, when I want sauce, I just unwrap one packet of frozen meat and put it into the crock pot (including the meatballs -- you can add them all at once this way). I add half of the amount of liquid in a normal batch: one can puree, one can paste, and about one can (of the puree) or the water and red wine. I season it, turn it on, put the lid on it, and walk away for five hours. Then I only skim it once or twice just before we eat it. Much easier, and no burning at the bottom.



I know it seems complicated, but really it is so simple, and you can feed an army with one batch. Or your family, four or five times if you freeze batches of the finished sauce.

And you gotta go all the way if you've come this far -- tons and tons of parmesano or romano, and real garlic bread to mop up what the pasta left behind.

Mangiare bene! E la ringrazia, il papa!

BBQ Crockpot Chicken

I've mentioned making BBQ chicken in the crockpot before, when I talked about BBQ chicken and goat cheese pizza. But I've tweaked my formula a little bit, and I thought it might be worth mentioning. Put the following mess into a crockpot, and while you might not believe me to look at it beforehand, this actually comes out as BBQ!



About four breasts of chicken, raw or even frozen
two cups of catsup, or ketchup if ya nasty
one cup of mustard, any kind
one capful of liquid smoke
about a half cup or more of molasses
one cup of brown sugar
as much Red Hot sauce as you think you'll like
a "couple, two-tree" shots of bourbon
half a medium onion, diced finely
two cloves diced garlic
a shake of cumin and a sprinkle of coriander
salt and pepper

Cook that on low for four to six hours, depending on whether the chicken is frozen or not. Go past the stage where it is cooked and will shred, on to the stage where those proteins break and it shreds easily. Shred it all right in the pot with two forks.

The recipe has a high sugar content, as all BBQ sauce does, but no fat. Here I put it on a toasted roll with my beloved banana peppers, and of course, goat cheese. Because if food could have love affairs, goat cheese and BBQ sauce would totally make out like Bogie and Bacall.

Smoky Bean Soup

I made this soup out of Rachel Ray's "Comfort Foods" cookbook. The name in there is called, "Navy Bean and Bacon Soup," but I made enough changes to it that I feel I might rename it. As long as I give her credit, right?

Here is the recipe, as I made it (not as printed):

1 Tblesp. EVOO, natch
6 slices turkey bacon, chopped
2 medium Yukon gold potatoes, largely diced
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
2 stalks celery
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 bay leaves
3 or 4 pinches cayenne pepper
3 cans Great Northern white beans, drained and rinsed
1 quart chicken stock
1/2 cup smoky BBQ sauce
salt and pepper
oyster crackers, parmesan cheese, or a nice grilled cheese sammich

Sautee the bacon and veggies in a skillet, then add them to a crock pot. Add the beans and chicken broth, and BBQ sauce. Simmer for four hours until everything is tender. Remove the bay leaves. I also took an immersion blender and went through just for a moment, until it wasn't completey pureed -- just thickened and chunky. It reheats beautifully, and the flavors are smoky and complex. The turkey bacon worked really well in here, and I think added to the slow-cooked smokiness.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed ANY soup this much. I intended to make it as a "multiple portions to get us through the schoolweek" basic batch recipe, but it has shot straight near the top of my favorite recipes list! (That's a mental, hypothetical list -- but it's definitely up there.)

Beans and Greens Fagioli

Okay, I promised to post an idea for a way to extend your leftover bacon and greens (turkey bacon for me) with onions into another meal.
So here it is... I added pasta, rinsed white beans, and chicken broth. It made kind of a smoky bean soup. Of course, had I made the greens without the turkey bacon, it would be a vegetarian soup, so that's an option.

I call it the "Soul Fazzole."

Red Beans and Brown Rice

Long ago and far away, I was a vegetarian for four whole years. During this time (now nearly ten years ago when I began) I was not a great cook. I don't even know if I was a good cook, really. Rather than turning to, you know, vegetables -- I subsisted mostly on Cheetos and other non-food items that I wouldn't go near today. Why did I start eating meat again? I often say this can be summed up in one word. And that word is "Cheddarwurst." Surprisingly however, I ended up with a healthier diet as a meat eater than I ever had before.

Back to my original point -- I probably wouldn't have lasted nearly so long in this veggie endeavor without Curtis Aikens' red beans and rice recipe. It has a complex, hearty flavor that keeps even meatitarians interested, and piling it up on the plate. Back in the day, it may have been the one thing I did right.



1 pound dried red beans (soaked overnight)
1 large yellow onion, diced
1 1/2 celery stalks, diced
4 garlic cloves, finely chopped or minced
2 bay leaves
3/4 cup olive oil
3 to 4 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 to 3 cups cooked rice
I add plenty of Red Hot at the end, as well

Drain the beans, discarding the water, and set them aside in a pot. Place the onion, celery, garlic and bay leaves in a medium mixing bowl. Drizzle the olive oil over them and let the mixture sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes. Don't skip it!

Pour the oil and veggie mixture over the beans and let that mix sit at room temp for 10 to 15 minutes. Add enough of the water to cover the beans and bring to a boil. (Here, you could also place the mix in a slow cooker.) Lower the temp to a simmer, add S & P, cover and cook for 3 to 4 hours. Remove the bay leaves and add final seasonings to taste. Serve the hot beans over the rice.

I also serve this with greens with Trader Joe's turkey bacon, because it has a thick cut that seems like a ham-hock texture (hey, I still try to cut out the pork and the beef whenever possible) and biscuits (these were from a mix.)

Tomorrow, a quick post about what to do with your leftover greens!

BBQ Chicken and Goat Cheese Pizza

This is probably my favorite pizza that I've come up with so far. I don't actually remember if I invented it or saw it somewhere else, all I know is that it tastes great.



For the bbq chicken, I usually make my own in the crock pot during the day, and then I assemble the pizza at night. My bbq sauce is a mish-mash of ketchup, mustard (about a cup ketchup to 1/2 cup mustard), brown sugar (a lot -- about 1 and 1/2 cups packed at least), diced onions, about 1/4 cup of beer (no more, or this will be runny), a small can of tomato paste, garlic, salt, cumin, coriander, hot sauce, and a little bit of liquid smoke. Molasses also works well in there, but I don't always have it on hand, so honey will also work. I whisk that all together, then I add four or more chicken breasts. Then I drink the rest of the beer, and go to work for a few hours!

If I haven't had the time to do all that, I have also just coated leftover chicken in bottled bbq sauce (Famous Dave's is my fave) and that works just dandy.

After 6 hours on low, or 4 on high, the chicken should be loose enough to shred with a couple of forks in the pot when you get home. For this pizza, I toasted a whole-wheat crust from Trader Joe's, and then put down some pasta sauce (thinly), and piled on the bbq chicken. Then I crumbled goat cheese all around, and some long-sliced red onions. Drizzle bbq sauce over that, and then add shredded cheese. Then shake a little Italian seasoning on, and just a light drizzle of olive oil, bake at 375 until done, and be careful not to change past and present tenses as often as I have.



This pizza has a rich, deep flavor and Chris and I pretty much eat the whole thing every time!

Paula's Pot Roast

When the weather turns as cold as it has here in Chicago, a girl's thoughts turn to her best friend (the Crock Pot.) There is nothing like the comforting little chatter of the lid on the pot when you walk in the door. It says, "dinner's hot and ready for you!" More specifically, my thoughts turn to pot roast when the weather becomes inhospitable.



I use Paula Deen's recipe, which you can still find here. The only things I do differently is that I add potatoes, carrots, and celery to make it a "one-pot" meal. It would be just as nice without the potatoes, though, and over some egg noodles. I also tend to use red wine instead of the Chardonnay, because I think it tends to have a deeper flavor with red meat. Also, we hardly ever have Chardonnay because I drink red.



I've also diced raw squash (like acorn squash) and added that, which turned out great as a fall-themed meal. It tastes great when there's leaves on the ground, or four feet of snow like today!

Chicken Nachos

Hoo dogie. If you're in the mood for sin, do I got somethin' fo' dat azz.

I have an all-purpose mexican chicken recipe. It isn't really a recipe, so much as a collection of a few ingredients, dumped into a slow cooker:

four or five chicken breasts, fresh or still frozen
about a half-jar (1-2 cups) of your favorite salsa
4-6 oz. of jelly (low sugar will work fine, no sugar will not work) of just about any flavor: grape or peach or...
one taco seasoning packet, or house mexican seasoning plus salt

I cook this on high for about 4 hours, or up to six if the chicken is frozen solid. When it is cooked, shred it right in the pot with two forks. You can use this for chicken tacos, enchiladas, or these: the badass chicken nachos. Just scatter the chicken over tortilla chips, smother with cheese sauce or shredded cheese of your choice, and place under the broiler until the cheese is melted. Wolf 'em down with guacamole and sour cream, plus your favorite beer... and hate yourself so much in the morning that you're unable to pick up the phone and call yourself ever again. Just pray that you don't run into yourself in public.