On Your Way... To the Lincoln Highway. With Nerds.

Time to take you along the culinary portion of the journey we took last October. We wanted to drive the entire Illinois portion of the Lincoln Highway, stopping wherever we may. We did this for two reasons: one, because we're cheap and wanted to save our big bucks for a trip to Napa in the spring, and two, because we're nerds. It was actually wonderful. I learned so much about my state, and the history of this amazing historical road that stretched (and still does) from coast to coast. When you come off the deadly monotony of the highway travel, with the unchanging scenery that we've become used to, it provided endless sources of fun and (yeah, I'll say it) LEARNING along the way. Don't get me started. Just rent the movie "Cars."

I won't bore you with are pictures from the whole trip. I'll just bore you with the food-related pictures. If you're really interested, come to my house and I'll show you the whole photobook I made, including every marker, mural and gazebo we stopped to photograph.

Oh, well. Just one.

Aw, lookit 'im. He's cute, isn't he, folks? Are you lookiting? LOOKIT.

Anyway, Route 30 starts on the eastern edge of Illinois in Lynwood. I don't know if you've been there, but I wouldn't plan a trip any time soon. It may be the most frightening place I've ever been, well above Humboldt Park, where I used to live and shared a block with more than one corpse that I viewed on the news while I did my morning workout. This was some sub-Detroit, post-apocalyptic shit, folks. Boarded, abandoned buildings everywhere, trash-littered streets, and just a couple poor souls shuffling zombie-like along the streets in bedroom slippers and toting plastic sacks (containing, I assume, human heads for snacking). Even the photo opportunity of a hot-dog painted propane tank couldn't prompt me to get out of the car in Lynwood, so I contented myself with recording "fun-spelled" words on the signs we passed, such as the "Dari Whip Snack Stop" (in Steger, where I really wished they'd gone the distance and eliminated the "h"), and "Unlimited Food's" (owned, I suppose, by the Food). With no transition whatsoever, the war-zone of  Lynwood became the mind-blowing historical mansions of Chicago Heights. They must have some amazing burglar alarms. You know. For the zombies.

We drove through Frankfort, Mokena, New Lenox (which has an Aurelio's AND a Chicago Dough, just like Bradley-Bourbonnais), and onto the glorious Joliet. We stopped into the Rialto Theater, the Chalkboard and Toy Town, and our first Lincoln memorial. We passed by the Big Chill Bar and Grill, Joe's, and the Ace Drive-In, all of whom I'd love to hear about or stop into one day. We did go into Dan's Homemade Candies, which has been open in the same building since 1919. Even before that, the place was another candy shop.

I only wish I had photographed the candy. Honestly, I think I just began wolfing it down all too quickly. What can I say? Absolute perfection. Hand-dipped, handmade candies that will make you ashamed you held Fannie May in such high esteem for so long. (Fanny is good, but it ain't this good). And it was here that I decided I would photograph not only the places we went to on our trip, but the people I spoke to along the way. I didn't get her name, but she told me all about Dan's, and she was the only one who didn't run into the back of the kitchen when I whipped out the camera.

Go to Dan's, fill your nostrils with the scent of (and your belly with the reality of) chocolate, particularly their mouth-watering caramel apples. Next stop: Plainfield, Illinois!

The Best Hot Chocolate

Bring it on, winter part deux! I've got Amazon.com, and nothin' but time...

This hot chocolate (Land O' Lakes brand) was rated by the America's Test Kitchen taste testers as the best, so of course I had to try it. The Supreme is the best!!

Heart-Shaped Stuff, or "Happy Black Monday"

I was gonna call this post, "Hey! Wait! I've Got a New Complaint," but, eh. Maybe I'm dating myself with that. And hey, maybe YOU'RE dating yourself this Valentine's Day! In which case, you probably don't wanna hear any more about it, in which case, I apologize. I'm remembering one particular V-Day in Chicago, when I went to pick up my roommate and friend Katie after work. I stopped at a gas station off Ohio Street, and promptly locked my keys in my car. I soon had the help of two cabbies, one minivan mom, and no less than eight gangbangers trying to help me break into my own car. The cabbie had an illegal jimmy in his trunk, but it didn't work on a car "as old as mine." The gangbangers fished out a coat hanger, but after an hour it was finally me that extended it long enough to unlock the door on the side opposite me. All the criminals cheered, and the mom got in her car as quickly as possible. Spending the day that way just made being single that much more special for me.

Well, this Valentine's Day, I will have three dates. I haven't made any dinner plans, and we don't have a babysitter that day, so I may be employing the old standard: a heart-shaped pizza.

This one is from Wayne's in Arlington Heights, but most pizza places do this. A nice option for some of the fellas: pair this with a nice piece of jewelry, and no one will really care that you didn't cook (plus she gets the night off from it). Just a thought.

If you want more of a simple breakfast-in-bed, jump-up, kick-in-the-privates from the adorable children, you can pair a "red scramble" (good diced salami, scrambled with eggs, topped with parmesan) with a heart-shaped artisan roll:

Easy to do - just use an oblong roll with rounded ends, cut in half on the diagonal, and then split. You could use red jam if you wanted to go further with the red thing.

Just for fun, I have some photos of some other heart-shaped things. Since this is a food blog, I'll spare you the picture of the perfect heart my cat left in his litter box, and just show you the heart-shaped potato I found!

Cutting it in half was a bit weird, though. And sometimes I cut into a pepper, and there's another little baby pepper in there. This one had a heart inside, which I found cool, and then upsetting and anatomical.

Well, anyway. Neither here nor there, but what other post was I gonna use those pictures on?

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, or alternatively, just get through it without drunkenly attacking any singing telegrams, tearing the heads off someone else's flowers, or locking your keys in your own car.

Smoky Greens and Beans

"Soul Fazzole" remix! In the past, I've used leftover collard greens to make a soup, naming it this because it's a bit like pasta fagioli, but with collards and smoky meat. This time, I started from the beginning and made one or two additions. It's a great way to get rid of a couple hot dogs, or a little bacon, ham or whatever you got. ***

1 bunch collard greens
1 red onion (regular will do)
2 or 3 turkey hot dogs, small diced, or 4 strips turkey bacon
32 oz. chicken stock
64 oz. water
1/2 pound large rigatoni noodles
1 15 oz. can white beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 cup BBQ sauce
salt and pepper to taste

Add the diced onion to a dutch oven or other pot with a little oil. When softened, add diced meat and brown a minute or two. Add large diced, washed and drained collard greens and a splash of the stock. Cover, let soften and cook down, stirring occasionally. When reduced, add 1 container good stock, and about twice that amount of water. Bring to a boil, add pasta and beans, and cook until al dente. Add BBQ sauce, taste, and season. This dish is good for you, and costs pennies per serving. And even the picky child loved it.

*** I'm not a hot dog advocate in general. Though I'll admit I love the way a good hot dog tastes, this is not a regular menu item around our house (despite the fact that I powered down God knows how many during my pregnancies). However, thanks to Mickey Mouse and his goddamn "hot dog dance," and a certain Mo Willems pigeon, the elder child was asking for hot dogs non-stop (having never had one). Fool that I am, thinking she would actually try one, I stood in our grocery store for 20 minutes reading hot dog labels. Most of them, including the veggie dogs, are filled with horrible things even BEYOND whatever it is they do to the meat (liquid smoke, nitrites, nitrates, phosphates etc.) I finally settled on some turkey dogs that had none of the "ates" in them. Naturally, she wouldn't eat them. Hence, the need to use them somewhere. They actually added a nice smoked flavor to this dish. You could use anything with a smoked flavor that you have lying about, even smoked sliced turkey.

Fiber One Choco-Banana

Seriously, get on board the Fiber One train. These taste great! (And I eat mine with a banana, as in the "serving suggestion.")

The Choo-Choo

We've been trying to find some fun stuff to do around here with two feet of snow on the ground... On Saturday, it occurred to me that we've never been to the "Choo-Choo" diner in Des Plaines. The kid loves trains, and we're hungry! Let's do that! Well, it turned out to be a huge treat, and I think maybe I had more fun than anyone.

The Choo-Choo has been open since 1951 (I recommend the "history" page on their website, which outlines their competition at the time: Ray Kroc's first McDonald's in Des Plaines.) Ray was right - I don't see how he competed with the Choo-Choo, but it was your choice, America. (As a note, I also noticed that the Choo-Choo still sports a vintage Multimixer for their shakes, which I know is how Ray made his first fortune, and I'm guessing he sold it to them. You can see it in one of the pics below.) If you sit at the bar, a train comes out of the kitchen and delivers your food. (If you sit at a booth by the front, you get regular delivery by a waitress, but you still get to watch the train.) House rules: you are not allowed to touch the train! Which I notice the kid in the photo on their website is doing, so that's some BS. (But seriously, don't.)

When we arrived at 11 am, it seemed that lots of other families had our indoor entertainment idea. The place is very small, and it was full. Plus, there was a family ahead of us waiting. Looked like Mama was gonna have to get in there with her elbows... But we actually got a seat after only two or three minutes. A busperson was Johnny-on-the-spot and cleaned the booth up for us pronto. And it was the best seat in the house: a booth at the bar. So we had plenty of room, and still got the train delivery. Ideal, except for the screaming young man behind me. (Actually, his excitement was a little contagious and part of the fun.)

The Choo-Choo has no blinds on the windows, so it was very bright and in direct sun for a couple minutes, until a cloud obliged me for the rest of our meal. Had to wear my fake Ray-Bans. (Side effect: coolness).

So we ordered a chocolate milk for the toddler, which we knew she would love, and a grilled cheese meal which we knew she would not eat (this is our routine). I ordered a plain hamburger, and Chris ordered a cheeseburger with raw onion. I then changed my order to what he was having (I couldn't let him eat raw onion alone). From her carseat on the floor, the baby said she was fine, thanks.

While we waited just a tidge for our food to come out (the Choo-Choo asks that you stay no more than 30 minutes in deference to those waiting, but our kids' attention span expires by then, anyway), several kids had birthdays (real or fake.) They play the birthday song, and the train delivers a cupcake with a train whistle on it. By this time, I was clapping like the last person keeping fairies alive. I believe! I do believe in fairies! Hey, what's that?

Feeling vibration from iron horse approach, Kemosabe?

Wait for it... Wait for it...

 YAY! IT'S OURS!

I expected nothing much from the food... I thought the kitsch factor would bring some laziness as far as the quality was concerned (kids don't care if it's a great burger, I mean, it comes on a TRAIN). But I must say I thought the burgers were fantastic! And the fries were hot and crispy.

I thought we would get a sort of version of a McDonald's burger, as the Choo-Choo is so closely tied to them. It was not at all that sort. The burger was generous and grilled, on a perfectly grilled bun, and the ingredients were all nice and fresh. Here's the kid, refusing to eat anything, as predicted:

But she did enjoy the chocolate milk. Oh, Dood, we know you so well.

But she had a really great time. She sang the birthday song all the way home, accented with train whistles. And here's a close-up of that tasty burger!

I wholeheartedly recommend the Choo-Choo. A really vintage experience, complete with good food, quick service, and some inexpensive fun on a cold day!

Game Day, and We Don't Care

BBQ chicken goat cheese pizza for the Superbowl, cuz we're a bunch of snobby a-holes. Here's the link if you wanna make it.

Chili Con Carne

I don't know how chili and the Superbowl came together, but somehow it became defined as "man food." Probably because of the farting that sometimes follows. Still, despite the risks, I've made a lot of chili recipes, and I've enjoyed most of them. Chili con carne is usually made with sliced up chuck roast instead of the usual ground beef, and it seems kind of special. (In the "black bow tie" way, not the "Church Lady" way. No, wait, in that way too.)

I made a chili con carne recipe from either Eating Well magazine, or Cooking Light... And I'll be darned if I can find it, even on their websites. I remember, because there was a misprint about when to add the beef back in, and they typed a correction in the next issue (I have a LOT of issues. Yes, also in that way). Well, if I find the exact recipe, I'll update the post. Meantime, it was very, very similar to this one. Many recipes for chili con carne don't have any beans in them, but this one is a little more healthy.

Chili is all about the toppings, so don't forget the light sour cream, the avocado, the limes and the cilantro. And if there are some, hmm, undesirable side effects later on, just remember this too shall pass (yes... in that way).