Oatmeal Scotchies

I'm not really into baking. If you've read my "User Info" page, you know this is because I find that I have to be too precise. However, my need for cookies with chips in them forces me to put my baker's hat on, because I haven't had any from the store yet that really compare with even the crappiest batch of homemade, warm cookies. Plus, you get a ton of them for a lot less money. My friend Brooke has inspired me to double the chips in just about all my cookie recipes. Chris often asks me why I don't just eat the chips, because isn't it really those that I'm interested in? Or, why not just melt them down, and mainline them into a vein, he asks? I tell him that the chocolate cools too fast and clogs up the needle, stupid. Sheeshh.

I changed up my chocolate chip habit recently and made this batch of "scotchies." (I'm not sure how the Scotts came to be synonymous with both a buttery flavor and a breed of little black dogs, but I guess those are both pretty good things to have your name attached to. Not so for the poor Gypsies... I still hear people say they got "gypped" fairly often.) Anyway, do I digress? I won't bother copying the recipe, because it's just the one on the back of the butterscotch chips bag. For this batch, I ran about a cup low on oats, and substituted the rest with more flour -- and they still came out fine. A little cakier, but they definitely scratched the itch.

Shown is about single serving, plus one glass of milk. Because I'm watching my figure.

Chicken Nachos

Hoo dogie. If you're in the mood for sin, do I got somethin' fo' dat azz.

I have an all-purpose mexican chicken recipe. It isn't really a recipe, so much as a collection of a few ingredients, dumped into a slow cooker:

four or five chicken breasts, fresh or still frozen
about a half-jar (1-2 cups) of your favorite salsa
4-6 oz. of jelly (low sugar will work fine, no sugar will not work) of just about any flavor: grape or peach or...
one taco seasoning packet, or house mexican seasoning plus salt

I cook this on high for about 4 hours, or up to six if the chicken is frozen solid. When it is cooked, shred it right in the pot with two forks. You can use this for chicken tacos, enchiladas, or these: the badass chicken nachos. Just scatter the chicken over tortilla chips, smother with cheese sauce or shredded cheese of your choice, and place under the broiler until the cheese is melted. Wolf 'em down with guacamole and sour cream, plus your favorite beer... and hate yourself so much in the morning that you're unable to pick up the phone and call yourself ever again. Just pray that you don't run into yourself in public.

Pierogi and the Fixin's

My godparents are Polish, and I have fond memories of there always being a side-dish of fried pierogi (filled dumplings) at their house. Pierogi also lent me its name for a short time in college, when in a game of "if you were food, what food do the rest of us think you would be?" my seven roommates decided that I was pierogi. Their reasoning was, "At first when you see it, you're like, 'This looks a little weird. I'm not sure about this,' and then later you try it and say, 'No, this is good stuff. This is stuff I like." Sort of a dubious honor, but there you have it -- for about a year, I was "Yogi" for short.

When I moved to Chicago with my bro, we lived on Chicago Avenue in the Ukrainian Village. Being short on funds and time, I often crossed the street to the small Ukrainian grocery for my dinner. Pierogi were inexpensive, and warm and comforting in the winter. And did I mention easy to make? Now they sell them in just about any grocery store. We get ours at Jewel. They have blueberry, sauerkraut, potato and cheese, and beef. These in the pic are "sweet cheese," and we liked them a lot. One day I may make these from scratch... Nah. Who am I kidding? The ones you buy fresh in Chicago (or Wisconsin) are delicious, and great to have on hand for a quick dinner. Why mess with a great resource for a fast nosh?

I just sautee some onion in a couple tablespoons of oil, and then I add the pierogi. I put the lid on, because the ones we buy are frozen. After a couple minutes, I turn them to the other side when browned. When the flip side is done, I add a drained can of sweet (Bavarian) sauerkraut and warm it through. I just gotta have mine with both applesauce AND sour cream!

World's Greatest Cornbread

In this season of BBQ's and chili cook-offs, it is the finishing touch to have the best cornbread recipe ever. I wrote this down on yellow legal paper some years ago, and I now don't remember where I got it from. TV? A friend? Foodtv.com? I dunno. The mysterious origins are lost in the mists of time. But I'll never make another kind. Once you've had the best? You can poo-poo the rest.

1 box of Jiffy corn muffin mix
8 oz. of whole canned kernel corn, drained
8 oz. of creamed corn
8 oz. of sour cream
2 eggs
1/2 cup (1 stick) of melted butter

Mix all of the ingredients well, and pour into a greased 9 x 9 inch pan (the batch shown in the picture has been doubled for one of my friend Cam's fabulous chili nights). Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

That's it! This bread is crazy moist (and trust me, I hate the word "moist" but there's no other way to describe) and never has that gritty-kitty-litter texture. It sure ain't health food, baby... But like I said: the old ways are now dead to us. You try this recipe, and see if you can go back!

Chicken Kebabs

I have two versions of these kebabs: the full-on version, as shown above -- which usually comes about because I have onions and peppers on hand -- and the lazier version. I do the lazier version when I don't feel like pushing the meat onto kebabs. I like to have hummus and brown rice with both versions, as shown below.

I start by either cubing (for kebabs), or cutting the chicken into strips (which I place right onto the grill). I put the chicken into a gallon Ziploc bag (can't live without those things). I add a liberal dusting of mediterranean seasoning, enough olive oil to well-coat, and the juice of a couple of lemons or limes. Close the bag and sort of massage your meat (insert obvious joke here) until the ingredients are all combined. I marinate them for a couple hours to overnight (no longer, because the citrus will actually cook the chicken a little.)

Grill or roast the chicken, and serve in on brown rice, or dip in your favorite hummus!

Mediterranean Seasoning

Lemme break you off another remix... This combo is what I call mediterranean seasoning. Again, doesn't matter how much you use -- just combine in the following proportions in a bowl, whisk, and pour into a shaker. Then it's there when you want to use it for a quick dusting on grilled meat, or for a marinade:

1 part coriander
1 part cinammon
1 part cumin
1 part Italian seasoning or oregano
1 part dried mint
1/4 part garlic powder
1/2 part onion powder

This mix has a complex, aromatic sort of taste. It smells so good on the grill! Goes well with either lime juice or lemon juice, and olive oil for an in-bag marinade.

Taco Salad

I have strong opinions when it comes to making tacos. But more on that later. For now, since it is 106 degrees in Chicago (and that ain't no joke), I'm posting our cooling taco salad.

I got this idea from my mother-in-law's taco salad. Don't laugh -- I know taco salads are as common now as burgers and fries. But hers was a cute idea she had gotten from someone else: ground beef with taco seasoning, shredded cheddar, crumbled Doritos, scallions (which she had left out because of certain onion-loathing family members), iceberg lettuce and Western dressing. It is also because of this that we now put Western dressing on our tacos, but like I said, more on that later.

I changed things a bit to up the nutrition, lower the fat, and suit our veggie-lovin' tastes. Which is good, because I eat half the bowl by myself. The list below is the permutation we had last night:

Brown 1 lb. turkey meat with onions, drain, add plenty of house taco seasoning, salt, and about 3/4 cup salsa (add lastly). Use about half the meat mixture., and keep the rest for leftovers.
one or two handfuls crumbled light tortilla chips
about 1 cup shredded cheddar
defrosted baby corn (about a cup): Market Day frozen veggies are the bomb
chopped scallions
Romaine, mixed greens, or red lettuce (~ 2 cups)
diced avocado, salt and toss in a little lemon concentrate first
Just 2 Good! light Western dressing

That's about it... I have used ranch dressing once, but you just gotta try the Western. Nothing like it. Oh, and sometimes I add drained black beans, too.

I have the same problem with this salad as I have with tacos: I will eat until I am ready to bust. At least it's chocked-full of vitamins and fiber and stuff.