Black Bean Hotcakes

Y'all ready for this? (Nah nah nah neh-neh-neh...) This is something strange that I came up with when Emeril failed me one too many times. I've been using this recipe for close to ten years now, since I was a vegetarian and that was a LONG time ago. Or at least it seems like it. Well, it has a high rating on the website, which kind of shocks me, because I don't think it works too well. It is basically beans and flour, with seasoning and some other ingredients to flavor them. It sure is tasty and filling - but they soak up a LOT of oil, and I'm never quite sure when they are done frying. They just don't crisp up like I want them to. Ever. I've tried very high heat, more oil, less oil... But I've not gotten the result that I think I'm supposed to.

Mainly, I've always wanted them to lift a little. They're so dense and heavy... So I looked up a recipe for pancake batter, and mixed that into the beans. I seasoned them well, and added garlic, cilantro and onion to the mix. Voilà! A black bean cake hybrid that is a bit lighter, less dense, and I could tell just when they were done (flip them when the bubbles come up, just like a pancake).



Black Bean Hotcakes:
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 red onion, diced fine
2 cloves garlic, diced fine
2 Tblesp. cilantro, cleaned and diced fine
1/2 jalapeño diced very fine
2 cups all-purpose flour, stirred with a whisk or sifted before measuring
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 egg
1 1/2 cups milk
good shake (2 teaspoons or so) salt
liberal dusting of mexican seasoning

Take half of the beans and half of the milk, and purée them in the food processor. Then return them to a bowl and mix the rest of the ingredients together. (Check my lists below: you can dice all of the onion, garlic and cilantro that you'll need for the guac at the same time.) Then drop them as you would pancake batter, about a 1/4 cup at a time in a hot pan. Turn them as you would pancakes.



It's all about the condiments with me, as usual. So top the cakes with lime cream and guacamole, and fresh salsa or your favorite from a jar.

Lime Cream (my version):
1 cup light sour cream
juice 1 lime
2 Tblesp. sugar

Guacamole:
2-3 avocados, diced
juice 1 lime
1/4 red onion, diced fine
2 cloves garlic, diced fine
1/2 jalapeño diced very fine
1 Tblesp. cilantro, cleaned and diced
salt & pepper to taste



These reheat very easily (just keep the toppings separate. And if you put enough lime juice in your guac, it will keep in the fridge for a day or two without browning.) I don't think Chris quite wrapped his head around the whole "savory pancake" concept, but he loves the sweet stuff. But I think these are a filling, tasty veggie dish, and might be good with leftover bacon or ham in them, too - if you've fallen off the veggie wagon, as I did!

Beyond Easy Vodka Cream Sauce

I'm committed to making things easily, with as few steps as possible. But honestly, I felt guilty about posting this. And then I realized it was two steps beyond simply opening a jar, which I do all the time. With one little rationalization, I went from feeling a little dirty to being one fancy lady!



Last week Ruby had nasty virus, which made her very uncomfortable, and for lack of a better term, "scream-y." All day and evening, even with children's Motrin. On a day like that, jokes aside, I truly don't feel guilty about shortcuts. I warmed a brick of low-fat cream cheese in a skillet until melty. Then I added a jar of Barilla marinara (Bertoli is also good), and two shots of vodka. Then I let it all warm through, and I added some pre-made sun-dried tomato meatballs from Costco. Is that how vodka cream sauce is supposed to be made? I seriously doubt it. And I seriously didn't care. Also, only one of the shots of vodka actually ended up in the sauce, and the other one may have fallen in my mouth.



I served it all over Costco mushroom ravioli. I wasn't a huge fan of the meatballs, but the sauce was very good. I think I will try in the future to make and freeze little meatballs of my own, and save them up for nights like this when I'm really beat. (And by the way, Ruby has made a complete recovery, so don't worry! She is all smiles once again.)

Portillo's Chocolate Cake

I'm somewhat back "on the wagon" right about now, watching my calories and portion sizes. Of course, this doesn't apply to weekends, or holidays, or that time of the month. In fact, with all my trangressions, I'm really surprised that I've lost any of the fifty pounds that I gained while pregnant at all. Twenty of that was baby, and whatever the baby is in that I don't really want to think about. The rest has been coming off slowly, and none more slowly than these last eight pounds or so. I'm determined to do it, but no one can stop me from fondly reminiscing about the type of eating that I did during my last month of pregnancy. That was the stuff!

Two weeks before Ruby came along, I wanted cake. I wanted Portillo's chocolate cake. But a whole Portillo's cake is a little on the expensive side at about $18. And buying one piece per day until you have a baby (because you're kidding yourself into thinking you just want ONE piece), as I knew I would end up doing, is even more expensive. (Oh yeah, a piece of cake per day? As that commercial says, "I was there.") I heard a rumor on the radio: the caller claimed that he used to work at Portillo's, and guess what? The cake is just Duncan Hines' Moist Deluxe chocolate cake mix (some claim it is Betty Crocker, whatever), mixed with 3 eggs, 1 cup of water, and 1 cup of mayonnaise. Yes, mayonnaise. Just ignore what else it says on the box, and just add those things, and bake at the temp the box recommends. I don't know if this rumor is true or just an urban myth, but let me tell you, I will not ever need another cake recipe. No seriously, I'm good with this one.



I topped it with store frosting, and it was fantastic. No muss, no mess, just a teeny bit of measuring, and it was just as good as Portillo's, if not better. I think it is even better than the Hershey's chocolate cake recipe, which until now has set the bar for me. And I didn't need to boil water! The cake was so good, in fact, that I made one the very next week. And then I literally had a baby.



This last one is my favorite. At the school cafeteria, they always served chocolate cake with white vanilla frosting. I had it all through gradeschool. It was one of the only things the school did well - always so moist (and I seriously hate that word, but "tender" is for meat, and "damp" and its ilk are even worse) and perfect. I was always so geeked to see them serving it, and it is still my favorite.

You gotta try it, but I'm warning you: be nine months pregnant, or have guests over... Because you WILL eat it by yourself!

AMENDMENTS: I just made one of these with Light Mayo (Hellman's) and it worked... But it is definitely NOT the same cake. Just a decent, light cake.

Also, did you know that coffee brings out chocolate flavor? Use a cold cup of coffee instead of the cup of water, and it brings out the cocoa flavor (you won't taste the coffee.)

Artichoke Cream Pasta

Chris recently brought a regular sale to my notice through Amazon.com. You can get subscriptions to lots of magazines, many times, for $6-$10 for the whole year (or sometimes two years.) I treated myself recently to a dirt-cheap subscription to Cooking Light. I really like it. I've read many foodie periodicals over the years, starting with my father's old addiction to Gourmet magazine. Cooking Light is one part lifestyle mag (like Gourmet), and the second half has most of the recipes. I've already tried several, and they've all turned out well.

This one is an artichoke, lemon zest and pea pasta that is based on a recipe that they had. Of course I took my usual cursory look at the recipe, but I put onion and garlic in a liberal amount of oil first. Then I added drained and rinsed artichoke hearts, and peas, a little white wine and the zest of a whole lemon. Then I seasoned the mix. Lastly, you add cooked pasta and about a half-cup of ricotta cheese, and just stir until mixed.



It was good, but I must say, I have never eaten a dish that so BEGGED for bacon. I think if I had started the mix with a little diced pancetta, it would have been so much better. As it was, it tasted a little flat. Either that, or leave out the ricotta, and I think the zippier flavors (like the lemon) may have come through more. Quick way to make a cream pasta, though!

Easy Galumpki Bake

Recently, I was at my friend Beata's baby shower. She and her husband are Polish, and they had lots of Polish friends, who brought quite a bit of Polish food. And when I say, "they brought quite a bit," I mean in the way that Sitting Bull brought quite a bit of Cheyenne to a small party with Custer. It was astounding. After we all ate our fill, Beata announced, "And now, we eat dinner!" Holy crap. That's when the meat really came out. Dear lord, the meat! If meat makes for a healthy baby (and I think I'm a testament to that), then this kid is gonna be Herculean.

One of the many tasty, meaty items was galumpki, which I think most people have had at one time or another. They're also called cabbage rolls, and that's just what they are: rolled cabbage leaves with rice and pork in the center, and tomato sauce on top. All through my childhood, my father made them, and mistakenly called them "pigs in a blanket," which they are not.

They're great, but not so easy to make. The cabbage leaves have to be blanched, and the rice pre-cooked, and then of course there's all the rolling. I made a sort of "deconstructed" galumpki in the slow cooker, which is also a bit healthier because it uses turkey. It tastes great (much like the original), and utilizes a much simpler "open package, dump contents" sort of technique.



Ingredients:
1 carrot, peeled and broken up
1 celery stick with leaves
1/2 onion
1 clove garlic
(if you made the Turkey Chili Mac, then you already have these in your fridge)
1 cup uncooked brown rice
1 bag of cole slaw mix (shredded cabbage and carrots)
1 lb. ground turkey
1 cup water
1 29 oz. can tomato sauce (puree)
salt and pepper

In layers, place half the bag of cabbage mix, then half the mix of the first four veggies, which you've pulsed to a fine chop in the food processor. Add half the rice, then tear half the turkey up into chunks to complete the first layer. Make sure you season the meat. Then repeat each layer once more, and season again. Add the sauce to the top, and the water. Cook on low for six to eight hours.



Serve with crusty bread, with parmesan cheese on top. Mm!

Turkey Chili Mac

This was super quick and easy, and I even made it a "deluxe" way. It was sort of a cross between a bolognese sauce (which has carrot in it), and regular chili mac. A bit of extra work to just pulse up the mirepoix (carrot, celery, and onion - in this case, I also added garlic) in the food processor, yes, but I doubled the mix of the four veggies, stuck half of it in the fridge, and then threw it into the Crockpot for "Easy Galumpki Bake" the next day. So you're saving time!



Ingredients:
2 carrot, peeled and cut into big chunks
2 celery sticks with leaves, cleaned and "chunked"
1 onion
2 clove garlic
1 lb. ground turkey
1/2 glass red wine
1 cup frozen peas
1 large can chopped tomatoes
mexican seasoning
salt and pepper
shredded cheddar
whole wheat pasta

Pulse the first four ingredients in the food processor until finely chopped (note: if you're only making the chili mac and not the Galumpki Bake, cut the amount for the first four veggies in half). Sweat the veggies until they are just translucent. Add the ground turkey and brown it, then add your seasonings, then the wine and tomatoes. Add the peas at the last moment just to warm them through. Serve over pasta with lots of cheddar!

Country Steak and Beef Stroganoff

I saw Alton Brown make country-style cube steak, and I had to get me some of that.



I altered his recipe a little. What I was really in the mood for were some mushrooms. Also, I don't yet have a dutch oven (but I have an Amazon rewards coupon currently burning a hole in my pocket). I sautéed some onions, celery and a package of baby portobello mushrooms (also known as cremini mushrooms). I set that to the side, and then continued with Alton's instructions in the same pan. (I was using my big oven-proof sauté pan, and that seemed to work just fine.)

I didn't use the bacon fat he called for (not something I have lying around), I just fried them suckers up, cleaned up most of the oil, and returned everything to the pan. I was also puzzled by the instruction to cut the steaks "with the grain." I couldn't get this to make sense in my head. so I cut against it. The steaks came out very tender, so I think I did right. Also, when they were all cooked, I tempered some sour cream and added that at the end into the sauce.

(Also, those are some sweet potato oven fries that I made. Toss them in oil and seasoning, place them all flat in a 400-425 degree oven, turn after 20 minutes, and cook for another 20. I added some BBQ sauce to some Hellman's Light mayo and served that to dip them in. Going up the country, good eatin' there.)

I got a lot of steaks rather cheaply out of this recipe, and let's face it: times is hard all over, baby. So that was great. Since it is just the two of us (there are three, but one of us is still eating oatmeal and formula), I broke up the leftovers, and served them over noodles as stroganoff.



I added frozen peas to make it a complete (and completely different) meal. I think this dish will turn out even better when I get my cast-iron dutch oven. Can't wait!